To establish the atmosphere, let me say that I'm having a typical absurd dream while deep within my subconscious. I'm having a dream in which I'm blissfully ignorant and enjoying the random firing of my neurons, and then all of a sudden I'm hooking up with a stranger and cheating on my spouse. Even though I know it's wrong, I can't seem to make it stop. I beg my partner's forgiveness afterwards (in my dream), terrified of losing him, until I wake up, look around, and realize, "It's just a dream."

You're not alone if you've said those words to yourself in the middle of the night or if you've experienced the same anxious, guilt-inducing dream. Personally, I've had dreams where I cheated on a lover at the time, and I've woken up crying. The key word here is "at the time." More on it to come.) How could I turn on him in such a way? Do I really want to be unfaithful to him? Will I end up losing him? Am I a nasty person at heart? To find out, I consulted relationship gurus Jaime Bronstein and Amber Kelleher-Andrews in addition to contemporary mystic Theresa Cheung.

Find out what infidelity dreams signify and whether you should be concerned by reading on.

The Meaning Behind Cheating in Your Dreams

Having a dream of cheating is rarely a reason for alarm. In actuality, cheating on a lover during a dream sequence happens a lot. According to a study conducted by US specialists, of the 1,000 persons surveyed, 21% experienced dreams in the previous year about cheating on their relationship, and 23% had dreams about their significant other cheating on them.

Generally speaking, it's okay and healthful, even if you're itching to add some spice. It doesn't imply that you wish to cheat on your partner secretly or that your relationship is doomed. According to Cheung, sometimes all you really want is a little adventure and pleasure, and that's okay.

Kelleher-Andrews agreed that most of the time cheating dreams are a metaphor.

Cheating dreams can indicate a variety of things, including insecurities in your relationship or yourself, a current rift between you, a hidden fear of abandonment coming to the surface, or a lack of trust in either of you, regardless of whether you have actually had an affair, according to Kelleher-Andrews.

Underlying Issues

A cheating dream may occasionally indicate deeper problems you are having with your significant other or that there is a void in your partnership. Maybe you're not getting what you need from the relationship, so your fantasies search for it elsewhere. According to Cheung, if you constantly dream about infidelity almost every night and carry those ideas and desires into your waking life, it may be a sign that you truly want to have an affair.

In my situation, Cheung verified that the reason my now-ex-boyfriend is an ex is likely because I cheated on him. It's possible that you've even had dreams in which your spouse is the one cheating, which naturally suggests that you're insecure in your real relationship.
Self-Discovery

"A dream is a hall of mirrors," Cheung told InStyle. "It's an aspect of yourself; you're cheating with yourself in a way. It [is] the dreaming mind just trying to show you that there's more to you to discover."

Anxiety

According to Bronstein, anxiety, whether it be related to a relationship or another area of your life, is the cause of cheating dreams.

Bronstein informed us that "any worry or concern comes through when we sleep." "Rather than discounting dreams, it's always wise to examine them and see what lessons they may teach us. Since dreams are frequently metaphors and don't always represent what they seem to symbolize, it doesn't always suggest there is a problem in the relationship."

She does, however, advise patients to seriously consider what their unconscious minds are attempting to tell them.

"When there is anxiety in a relationship, the most common reason why cheating dreams happen is due to fear that the relationship will end. As humans, our fears come out during our sleep state when our ego-mind is not there to censor or push feelings and thoughts away."

Curiousity

In general, sex dreams are "a symbol of curiosity," according to Cheung. We are naturally highly curious beings, after all. 

"Occasionally, we suppress that due to societal expectations. However, we are naturally intrigued, and that's what a sexual fantasy accomplishes for you. Put differently, it gives you the opportunity to try things that you might not be able to in real life.

Why It Matters Who You're Cheating With

Cheung frequently uses the example of having an improper dream in which you have an affair with someone, like your employer. It's possible that you only appreciate a characteristic in them that you lack, rather than wanting to have sex with them. 

Having an affair with your boss in a dream indicates your subconscious telling you to "lighten up," especially if your boss finds humor funny and you generally take things really seriously. stated Cheung. "It's telling you that you need more comedy, and since that's the only way it knows how to express that to you, it's utilizing the striking picture of cheating to do it.

In other words, the purpose of this severe, upsetting event is to make you pay attention.

The same holds true if you dream that you are cheating on a certain celebrity. It's probably not a tendency toward materialism or conceit. Cheung asserts that you might not have in your everyday life what a particular star has.

Every star is wealthy and attractive. Usually, [your] dreaming mind has attached itself to something particular about that celebrity — perhaps their charitable endeavors or musical prowess," the expert said. "You should go out and enjoy it if you're having a dream affair because it indicates that there's something about you that needs development.

However, this dream can mean different things depending on who you are cheating with. According to Cheung, lying to a stranger in your dream may be the outcome of self-doubt or a sense of having let people or yourself down.

"If you cheat with a stranger in your dream, look at your daily waking life," Cheung advised. "In what ways am I failing myself? For me, what does cheating mean? If I cheat, it indicates that I'm not giving it my all. I'm not performing to my full ability. I wasn't very well there.

The Final Takeaway

In the end, if you wake up from a cheating dream, there's no need to worry or feel bad about it. Examine your own interpretation of what cheating means and whether it even relates to your relationship. Your brain is generally attempting to assist you in developing and becoming a better version of yourself. But it's always a good idea to go within to see if there's anything that needs to be addressed on the deepest level in your relationship.